Are you or have you ever struggled with self-confidence? If yes, welcome to the club! To be really honest with you I am by far not the most confident person. But self-confidence has always been something I’ve been working on and trying to improve.
Self-confidence is a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgement.
Even though I feel I get more introverted as I get older, I also feel I gain more self-confidence. I trust and feel more content with who I am, what I stand for, and what I do.
In this article, I’ll mainly share what worked for me – and what I’m still working on – to boost your confidence in all aspects of your life.
Why Should We Have Confidence?
This article is mainly about boosting your confidence in YOURSELF. I believe this is the root of all kinds of confidence. When we trust our own abilities, qualities, and judgement we’ll have more confidence in others, change, and our faith.
The main reason to boost my self-confidence isn’t actually to feel or look better (although it is an awesome benefit), it is to make the right choices. In the past, I was a big people-pleaser. (Maybe I still am a bit.)If you’re confident in yourself and your values, you choose yourself. When you know and trust yourself you make the right choices for you and not only others. And that my friend is golden!
More self-confidence benefits include
Allowing you to stand up for yourself. To say no when you don’t feel comfortable with a situation and to say yes to taking on opportunities.
Overcoming fear. Confidence is doing something even when experiencing fear. You’ll overcome your fears because you trust in yourself.
Getting to know your limits… and testing them. Believing you can do anything you set your mind on takes self-confidence and it allows us to stretch our limits.
Making you more attractive. People who are confident in who they are no matter what others think of them are naturally more attractive.
Increasing your productivity. I know when I doubt myself or my ability to do something it takes me forever to complete it. It’s not until I give myself a little pep talk that I really start getting things done.
Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — you’re right.
How Can I Boost My Self-Confidence?
1. Silent Your Inner Critic
We all have that voice inside of us telling us we can’t do it, or we’re not good enough. It’s up to us what we do with the voice. Are you going to listen to it or step back and release not true?
The day I learned that my thoughts and feelings are just that – thoughts and feelings – and I don’t need to get caught up in them, my life changed. So next time your inner critic tells you anything negative about yourself, PAUSE, remember it’s not true and don’t be afraid to talk back.Talking back to that voice is something weird and wonderful to try.
2. Focus On The Solution
… rather than focusing on the problem. Sometimes we get so caught up in the problem; being anxious for an interview, public speech or learning a new skill. Next time you doubt yourself ask yourself “what can I do to help myself?” “Is there anything that might make this easier?”. Focus on investing more energy into a solution rather than getting overwhelmed by the problem.
Maybe there’s a book you can read on the problem (there probably is)
Make sure you know your speech by heart – practice makes permanent.
Have you dealt with a similar problem in the past? What did you learn from it?
3. Get To Know Yourself
It sounds so weird to “get to know yourself” right? You may say “of course I know myself, Nikki! I’ve been me since birth”.
But I’ve realised If you don’t actually sit down with yourself and analyse your thought, emotions, desires and values you don’t really know yourself. Wait! before you roll you eyes and scroll one – maybe try it first.
I’ve found self-reflecting helps me understand myself better. It helps you focus and get to know the world inside of you. Check out our Self-Refection post here.
4. Love Yourself
Self-love is the root of personal development. Without self-love, I don’t think we would want to improve ourselves and we’d definitely not be able to.
Self-love is the foundation on which you build.
Love yourself enough to know that you deserve the self-confidence to strive for more, to have goals and smash them, and to not settle for less.
What does loving yourself look like?
It’s giving yourself compliments
Having a zero-tolerance for negative thoughts about yourself
Nourishing your body with healthy food
Surrounding yourself with people that make you feel good
Celebrating your wins, no matter how small or big
Often stepping outside of your comfort zone
Taking care of your mental health
Meditation has done wonders for my mental health, it not only helps me relax but it helps me be a kinder and more loving person.
5. Stop Comparing
There’s always going to be someone smarter, stronger, prettier and better than you. Consistently comparing yourself to others is exhausting. Don’t you agree?
Comparison not only makes you feel bad about yourself but it makes you forget the amazing features and characteristics you DO have. Rather than comparing yourself to others, compare yourself to the person you were yesterday.
When you constantly try to be the best version of yourself, there’s no space for negative comparisons.
“because others are doing well it does not mean you are doing badly.”
6. Be Vulnerable
This was one of my 2020 goals, to be more vulnerable. I don’t like talking about my feelings, telling people what I need or want, or giving my opinion about sensitive topics.
Last year I came across Brene Brown: the Call to Courage film. If you struggle with being vulnerable or understanding why we need to be vulnerable this film is for you.
In short, vulnerability helps us deal with our emotions, have better relationships and makes you stronger.
How can you be vulnerable?
Speak up! Give your opinion about situations that you agree with or don’t agree with.
Don’t bottle up your emotions. If you need to talk about some heavy emotions your feeling, be brave enough to talk about it with someone you trust.
Tell people what they mean to you. Say “I love you” & “I appreciate you”, and say it often.
Take a leap of faith. Do that thing your scared to do and know you will be able to deal with the outcome, no matter what.
7. Set Small Goals
Nothing boosts my self-esteem like achieving a goal. Try setting small goals or making small healthy habits every day.
Try waking up earlier, following a powerful morning routine, having an offline day, meditating every day or doing a 10-minute workout.
Achieving these small goals will give you more self-confidence and freedom to be your best self.
8. Empower Yourself
Take control of your life by making choices that that reflect your purpose, passion and vision!
How to empower yourself?
Know what you want out of life. Having a vision for your life helps you focus on the things that support your goals and ignore those that don’t.
Do something about issues that touch your heart. Use your time and voice to educate yourself and others about the topics you are passionate about.
Do what makes you feel good. I’m talking exercise, self-love and using your natural talents.
Find a supporting community. Find people that have the same vision as you.
You deserve the best!
Being confident in yourself is not so much about how you look on the outside, it something you constantly have to work on on the inside. Put the work in for yourself because you deserve your love, your trust, and your own support more than anyone else.
We love hearing from you.
Have you ever struggled with confidence? Do you have any other advice that you’ve found helpful? Let us know in the comments below!